“The literary musings of a man born in the wrong era – but who still remains a product of the modern digital age.”

The man was tall and fair-skinned with nearly-black hair swept up in a neatly-groomed fashion. He wore a plain, dark gray tunic over a plain gray shirt. His face was oddly blank as he watched him, his eyes locking intently with Siv’s as they drew him in with their mystifying hues of orange and green. Familiar. He searched those eyes for a similar image burned into his memory. The memory of a man of similar appearance. A man he had known well and should never have forgotten. A moment later recognition crossed Siv’s face.

“Father?” He whispered.

The man’s face turned apologetic as he shook his head. The unmistakable feeling of loss returned, feeling like it had so many years ago. “This image has been chosen for your convenience,” the man said without speaking in a voice that was not quite natural. “We have been waiting for you.”

“We?” Siv asked solemnly, pushing aside his disappointment in favor of curiosity.

The man nodded. “We are life.”

He seemed to be waiting for Siv to respond but he didn’t understand. Again the man seemed to draw him in with his eyes. Siv watched, transfixed as they began to glow – a beautiful yet frighting blue that soon diminished as the meaning of the man’s words hit him. “The Kavii.” He whispered, in awe.

The man nodded. “Yes.”

Siv looked the man over, surprised that he had not felt their presence before.

The man seemed to laugh, though he made no sound. “It is quite wondrous what the body will do to protect itself from such an unusual situation.” He said, his face growing suddenly calm, almost serious, again. “But you need to understand.”

Siv watched as the man’s arms moved out and his head turned to look left, over Siv’s right shoulder. Siv followed his gaze and for the first time he was aware of his surroundings. All around them was an unusual atmosphere of deep green hues, floating yellow particles, and hovering blue masses that moved about them. It was a beautiful sight.

A calming sensation came over him then, causing him to breathe in deeply as his senses seemed to return to him. He could now feel their presence around him – an enormous, powerful, and calming presence.

“Where are we?” He asked, turning back to the man who wore his father’s face.

“For the moment, you are with us.” He said. Siv understood. Often he had wondered what their existence was like; but never would he have imagined such a place. He was existing where the Kavii existed – wherever or whenever that was.

The man smiled at him again. “Everywhere. Always.” He reminded.

“Of course.” Siv smiled, looking back into his orange-green eyes. His father’s eyes.

“Why take my father’s form?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“All forms are part of us.” The man said, moving his hands to his chest. “This one appealed to you.”

“Oh.” He murmured. “You chose it because it was what I wanted to see.” Siv nodded, understanding.

The man’s smile was warm as he shook his head. “You chose it.” He said, his eyes intent.

Siv didn’t know how to respond. It was true; he had missed his father greatly over the years and in his moment of fear he had wanted nothing more than to see him again…

He paused, his head growing suddenly dizzy as a rush of memories came back to him. A burning pain shooting through him. A bright, blinding light. Screams filling the air. Panic. Siv fell to his knees, his hand griping his chest as he struggled to breathe. He had to get up! He had to help, but he couldn’t move. He was paralyzed. A pair of steady hands grasped his shoulders and pulled him up as the memories passed. “I have to go back.” He urged, looking back to the man before him with glossy eyes. “I have to help them.”

The man shook his head, solemn. “That is not possible.” He said, letting go of his shoulders.

“What do you mean?” He asked, fighting the panic and desperation in his voice. “Something happened, is happening. I have to help them.”

The man looked regretful. “It was not your time.”

“Not my time? What do you mean?” He looked around him, feeling helpless. “Why am I here if not to help them?” He asked, closing his eyes as he bit back tears.

“You will. But not there. Not your time.”

“I don’t understand.” He looked back to the man before him.

“You will. You must.” His expression turned solemn. “They have come. The balance has been broken.”

They? “Who has come? What balance?”

The man shook his head, “They are not part of us; we do not see them.” He paused. “The balance. What we are and have always been – may not always be.”

“What do you mean? Your existence is endless, can you not see what happens?”

The man looked up as if lost in thought. “Our sight has diminished. We see the past and the present but the future wanes.”

“What does that mean?” How could the Kavii no longer see everything? How could that connection be lost? The thought itself was terrifying.

“Not lost.” The man explained, “Their existence obscures our sight. The image is incomplete. For this we have brought you.”

Siv stood, unbelieving. They needed him. But how was he supposed to help? “What am I supposed to do?”

The man looked Siv over, his eyes resting on his markings. “Potential.” He muttered, seemingly to himself. “We have seen it. Like this one before you.” He said, touching his hands to his chest again.

“Like who?” He asked hesitantly, unsure of what the man had meant and unwilling to voice his guess.

The man watched him for a moment, seemingly debating on whether or not to answer him. “There are others like yourself.” He finally said. “Find them.”

The man’s face grew unusually calm. “It is time.” he said, his eyes glowing blue once more. Siv felt the feeling of tranquility overtake him and again he felt himself grow tired. “Go now.” He heard the man say. “Stop the ones who have come.” Siv closed his eyes; he wanted to sleep.

Severus was hunched over on the floor, groaning in pain as his body contorted itself. He could hear each bone as it moved, a sickening crack accompanying each jolt of pain. Finally, he lay motionlessly on the floor as the pain began to subside. Severus, Severus, Severus, he chided himself. After a few more moments, he was able to slowly stand, pulling himself up with the help of the table. He sighed as he held himself up on his arms, staring down at the murky gray substance in the cauldron. This wasn’t working. It had gone so well at first, he had been himself for several minutes before reverting back. What could have gone wrong? He slammed his fist on the table’s surface out of frustration. How was he supposed to fix something he barely understood?

At first he thought it would be simple, all he needed to do was change his appearance, surely it was like a Polyjuice potion, only permanent. But no matter how many times Severus tried, he just couldn’t get it to stick. He had brewed several variations of what he thought would work and each day this past week, he had tried a new one – none had gone well.

Severus looked back at the cauldron before him. This had been the last one. Several weeks of work – all for naught. Now he wasn’t sure what to do. He sighed, putting his forehead to the cold surface of the table. It was soothing.

“No luck yet, eh?” He heard from behind him.

“No, Potter, no luck yet,” he murmured in frustration. “You know, you’re more than welcome to help me out. You may not be that great with spells, but I know you’re much better with potions.”

“Yeah…” James started, “maybe some other time.”

Severus sighed heavily, turning to look at him, determined to get him to help out. When he saw him, he stopped, surprise coloring his face. James looked…different.

“Do you like?” James smiled, opening his arms and turning around for Severus to take a good look at him. “To think all you needed was a good wash, some nice clothes and a modest haircut,” he laughed.

Severus didn’t know what to say. A mixture of approval and resentment filling him. He certainly did look more…pleasant than before. His hair was shorter than he had kept it – or did it just seemed that way? He wasn’t sure, but it was better kept and accentuated his sharp features. It was funny how that was the thing about himself he had always hated most, but now, it didn’t look so bad – even the large nose was somehow fitting. The clothes he wore were no doubt expensive and they fit him well, making him look rich…cultured. “Where…” he began.

“Lucius,” James replied. “At least until I can get some clothes of my own.”

Severus’s eyes narrowed slightly. It was typical of Lucius to throw his weight in money, around. “So instead of helping me out here, you spend your time like this?” Severus was more than a little annoyed. A few weeks in his body and James had done what he himself had seemed incapable of. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re not too eager to get back to your old self.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” James said. “Of course I am. It’s just, if I have to walk around looking like you, I’d rather not look like you,” he laughed.

Severus didn’t find it funny.

“Look. I’ll help you out some other time. Right now, I’m just a little busy.” James said, seemingly annoyed. “I’ve got a date to get to.”

“A what?” Severus asked, sighing as he sat himself in a chair. “Let me guess; it’s Romana, isn’t it?” Damn that Lucius, he thought bitterly to himself.

“No, not her,” James said.

“Good.” It was bad enough Lucius had already started rubbing off in the clothing department.

“I had her last night….”

Severus groaned, rubbing desperately at his temples.

“I have to admit, I was a little unsure about seeing you…well, naked, but I have to say, I’m rather impressed.”

“Okay, I get it,” Severus scowled.

James laughed. “But come on, how could you let something like Romana go? I mean, have you seen her?”

“That’s none of your business, James.”

“Oh, right…Lily….” James rolled his eyes.

Severus glared at him.

“Don’t worry, mate, I’m not interested in her anymore. She’s all yours. I’ve got a better selection to pick from.”

“You’re a pig,” Severus spat.

“No, sir,” James smiled, “you are the pig.” He winked before turning and leaving.

Severus dropped his head to the desk again. Why did he get the feeling James Potter would be the death of him?

–

Severus made his way through the courtyard, finally feeling somewhat better after the other night with James. He knew he shouldn’t have been as angry as he was with him, but he also knew that James had succeeded where he had not. It was frustrating to say the least. If he had been as successful, he wouldn’t have needed to try and brew an appearance-changing potion and he nor James would even be in this mess. Was it his fault? No, he knew that. James was the one who foolishly used spells without knowing what they were. No. James was the fool – and yet – he always seemed to be the one to come out on top. It was hardly fair.

“Mm, James,” came a crooning voice. He turned, coming face to face with a beautiful, blonde woman with clear blue eyes. She bit her lip as she regarded him, gliding a finger around his ear. “It’s nice to see you again,” she whispered, looking him up and down with a grin on her face.

“Hi” he murmured. He never thought it possible, but he was growing tired of all the women who came fawning over him – over James.

She watched him for a moment, her eyes suddenly growing cold. “I can’t believe this,” she said, pushing away from him and setting her hands to her hips. “You don’t remember me, do you?” she asked.

“I-” he murmured, surprised at her outburst.

“Wow,” She cried angrily. “What? Was I not special enough for you? I thought you had a great time.”

Severus was dumbstruck. “I -It wasn’t me,” he tried.

“Ugh!” The girl yelled, disgusted as she turned to walk away. “I wasn’t that drunk.” she mumbled as she walked off. “Jerk.”

Wow, Severus thought. Yeah, this was definitely getting old. He sighed; what he needed was some peace, some time to himself. Decidedly, he headed towards his usual spot, doing his best to avoid eye contact with all the women he passed lest they turn out to be one of James’s exes or flings. Not many people wandered to that side of the lake. There were too many trees and less sunlight. The only people that really knew about it were him, Lily, and well, James and his friends, though they only ever came by to tease him.

Severus stopped suddenly as he heard an unusual sound. It was hard to make out, but it was coming from his spot. He walked slowly, listening – it sounded like crying. Puzzled he peered around the trunk of the tree. It was Lily.

“Lily?” he asked, “What’s wrong?” His voice full of concern.

She turned, startled, “Oh, it’s you,” she said, quickly wiping at her eyes. “If you’re looking for Severus -” she paused. “that jerk – he isn’t here.”

“Jerk?” he asked, kneeling beside her. What did that bastard do? His eyes grew dark. “What did he do?”

She looked at him, puzzled. “Why do you care?”

“Please, tell me,” he pleaded, wrapping an arm around her.

Lily’s tears started to fall again. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s changed,” she sobbed.

“Did he say something?” Severus asked. “Maybe he’s just under a lot of stress or something?” He’d be damned if he wasn’t going to try and fix this mess.

Lily shook her head. “He’s never been like that with me.”

“He didn’t touch you, did he?” I’ll kill him.

“No, no. It was nothing like that.” Severus waited, but Lily started to cry once again. “He called me a- a mudblood. Said I didn’t deserve a wand and that I wasn’t worth his time.”

“He what?!” Severus couldn’t believe his ears. Who did that bastard think he was? How dare he act that way with her – with his body no less. Severus was furious, he could barely think straight. “I’ll kill him.” he muttered, standing.

Lily stood after him. “What? No, please James.” She took a deep breath. “I should have known better.”

“What do you mean? This isn’t your fault.” he assured her, running his fingers through the wet hair that clung around her face. “Don’t think like that.”

She shook her head. “I know it must be difficult for him. With his family and friends… I was foolish to think we could remain friends through it all. This was bound to happen eventually. I just-” her voice hitched painfully to his ears. “I just couldn’t bare to tear myself away sooner. I’ve always cared about him. So much it hurt to see him in his predicament. I guess I always hoped…”

“Hoped what?” he asked.

Lily looked up at him, her eyes full of emotion, of hurt and longing. He understood.

Severus shook his head. All this time, she had known. About his family, the pressure he was under. She distanced her feelings for him, all to prepare herself for this inevitability. “I’m so sorry,” he said, holding her.

She let him. “It’s not your fault,” she muttered into his shoulder.

He shook his head, “but it is.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, pulling back to look him in the eye.

Severus took a deep breath. He couldn’t lie to her now, not when she thought he hated her. “I am Severus.” he said, holding her by the shoulders and knowing he sounded mad.

“What?”

“I am. I know you don’t believe me, but I am,” Severus said hurriedly, hoping the more he said, the more she’d understand. “James and I switched bodies. Not on purpose, but we’ve been like this for the past few weeks.”

Lily stared at him. “That’s not funny, James,” she said, pushing away his arms and turning away. “Just when I think you’ve changed -” she muttered, grabbing her things and stomping off.

“No, really,” he begged, walking after her. How to make her believe me? “When you were eight,” he called after her, “your parents took you to Paris. You got lost in the Louvre and, for several hours, you hid behind the statue of the Winged Victory of Samothrace.” Lily stopped, turning to face him. “You said that even though her head and arms were gone, she made you feel safe – like she was your guardian angel.”

“How do you know that?” she asked, unsure.

“Because you told me, Lily, you told me,” he took her hands, pulling them gently to his chest. “I’m Severus.”

Lily’s eyes searched his. “It is you,” she finally murmured, hugging him. “I thought I lost you.”

Severus held her tight. To hear her say that – he never knew.

She pulled back, looking him over. “How did this happen? A Polyjuice Potion gone wrong?”

“I wish. At least that I could probably fix,” Severus sighed. “I was mixing a potion when James hit me with a spell. It backfired and hit him too. Next thing I know, I’m watching James turn into me and I’m-” he raised his arms to draw attention to himself, “I’m him.”

“What did Dumbledore say? Is he working on it?”

Severus scratched the back of his head. “Well-”

“You haven’t told him?”

“Well, no, not yet.”

“Severus,” she whined, “why not?”

“James didn’t want to get in trouble.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Figures. But what about you? How’d he get you to play along?” She raised a brow at him.

Severus sighed. “Okay… I thought it would be nice to see what it was like to be James for a while. At least until I could brew a potion to fix this. I know, it’s pathetic.”

Lily shook her head. “Don’t be silly. How’s the potion coming along?”

“I tried it the other night, it didn’t work. It takes almost a month to brew and, with the modifications I have to make to try and get it to work….” he sighed, shaking his head.

Lily frowned, her face growing worried. “What about James? I know he hasn’t been the most pleasant person, but what happened earlier – this still isn’t him.”

Severus knew she was right. “I should have warned him about Lucius and his damned elitist ideals. I should have known he’d fall for it.”

“Maybe it’s time you and he go see Dumbledore,” Lily suggested, her hand on his arm.

Severus stared at it, nodding. “Come with me?”

“Of course.”

–

James sat with his new friends, a woman on each arm. He couldn’t believe all he had been missing. All these years, stuck in the House of Idiots when he could have been here, with people who actually understood him. They regarded him with the respect and pride he so rightly deserved.

Sure, what they saw when they looked at him was Severus, but that didn’t matter. He was a far better Severus than that twerp had ever been. To reject all of this – and for a mudblood no less – it made him sick. Severus didn’t deserve this life. No. This life belonged to him.

“Oi, Severus,” Lucius interrupted.

“Hmm?” He asked, not tearing his lips from the blonde on his left.

“You’ve got company downstairs.”

“What?” James asked, finally looking at Lucius.

“James Potter?”

James groaned. He always had terrible timing. Standing, he headed downstairs.

–

“James,” Severus whispered when he arrived.

“What is it?” James asked, irritated. “You interrupted an interesting session there. Twins,” he smiled. He spotted Lily and it faltered. “What’s she doing here?”

“James, this is serious. We’ve waited long enough. We need to fix this.”

“Fix this?” James exclaimed. “Why? I’m enjoying myself, aren’t you?”

“What?” Severus couldn’t believe it. “Don’t you want to be yourself again?”

“Why should I?” He asked. “You’ve got a great life here, Severus. I don’t see how you could have been so eager to give it up and for a mudblood.” James laughed.

Severus seethed. “Don’t you dare call her that!” Severus growled. “You don’t understand what you’re getting yourself – or I should say me into – Potter. You’re playing with fire and with my life. I will not have it.”

James eyes turned to Severus. “I understand enough. And don’t worry about this life you so desperately despise. You were never worthy of it anyway, Half-blood.” he spat.

Severus grabbed him by the collar, pushing him hard against the wall. “Watch it, Potter,” he hissed.

“You don’t get it, do you?” James grinned. “This life was never meant for you, you were never really worthy of it. That’s why you could never accept it. This has always been for me, not you – Potter. This was destined to happen. If it were a simple matter of potions and spells gone awry, you would have found a cure by now.”

Severus was shocked. “You’ve gone mad, James.”

“On the contrary, for the first time in my life, I can finally see,” he said, pushing Severus off him. “And don’t call me James. That’s not my name anymore.” He walked away, leaving Severus and Lily looking after him in horror.

–

Severus and Lily arrived unannounced and alone outside Dumbledore’s office.

“Should we really do this?” Severus asked Lily. “Could I really go back to that life James has left to me? Back to the worry and fear?”

She held his hand. “Whatever you choose, Severus, I won’t leave you again.”

Lily smiled at her, thankful. With her hand in his Severus pushed open the door.

They walked in, expecting Dumbledore to be at his desk, expecting them – but it was empty. That’s odd, he thought. Dumbledore usually knew when someone was coming.

“It’s not that odd,” he heard. Startled, they both jumped at the sound. When they looked around, they saw no one. “Over here,” the voice said.

Sitting on the Headmaster’s desk was the Sorting Hat. “Hi?” Severus murmured, confused.

The Hat chuckled. “Well if it isn’t Mister Snape. It’s about time. Seven years – I was beginning to think I’d never see you again.”

“Did he just call you-” Lily murmured.

“Yes,” the Hat interrupted. “I know who you are.”

“How?” Severus asked.

“Well,” it started. “It’s all sort of my fault.” It said.

“What?!” Lily and Severus exclaimed in unison.

“What do you mean it’s your fault?” Severus asked.

“If you’ll both have a seat, please.” Severus and Lily obeyed, sitting themselves in front of the desk. “Thank you. Now,” it cleared its throat. “I knew this would happen – I just, made it easier for you. You see, when I sorted you and James, I put you in the wrong houses.”

“What does that have to do with-” Severus began.

“How could you do that?” Lily couldn’t help but exclaim.

“How could I not?” The Sorting Hat reasoned. “Severus’s family has always been in Slytherin – the same with James’s family and Gryffindor. Severus, what would have happened if I had put you in Gryffindor, where you belonged? How would your family have taken it?”

“Wait, I was supposed to be in Gryffindor?”

“You are a good man, Severus, meant to do wonderful things. And James… well, James is quite another matter altogether.” The Hat sighed. “You see, you two are an anomaly. Born at the right time, but in the wrong places. It had to be fixed. Whether by one of us or by the cosmos themselves, it was going to be fixed. I did what I had to in order to make it easier for you when it did.”

“I don’t understand,” Severus began. “I was supposed to have a life like James and James like me?” It sounded ridiculous.

“You were supposed to be James. That was your destiny. Tell me, have you not always felt like something was wrong? Like you didn’t belong? Like you were…living someone else’s life?”

Severus didn’t know what to say. It was true. He had always felt out of place, always; since he was a child. The only right thing in his life had been Lily. “Well… yes….” Severus finally admitted.

“This is why,” the Sorting Hat concluded.

Severus sat for a long while, his mind numb. “Then, James was right,” he muttered. “That life was never meant for me.”

The Sorting Hat smiled, “correct. I assume James has accepted it?”

“Wholeheartedly.”

“Good,” it nodded – as only a hat can.

“Good?” It was Lily. “How can you say that? The influence he’s under now… Lucius… all those terrible ideas… How can you be okay with putting him in that position?”

“I’m afraid it was the part he was always meant to play, Miss Evans,” they heard solemnly from behind them. They turned. It was Dumbledore.

“You knew about this?” Severus asked.

“Of course,” he stated, sitting at his desk.

“How can you condone it?” Lily protested. “James is so much better than that.”

“Yes, Miss Evans, you’re right,” Dumbldore agreed. “One day, he’ll understand that.”

“And meanwhile?” She demanded to know.

“Meanwhile, I will be here for him,” Dumbldore said calmly. “It is all I can do, his path was always set for him, it was only a matter of when, not if.”

Severus knew that Lily still wasn’t happy. But he also knew that Dumbledore wouldn’t lie to them. He squeezed her hand in support. “So I will have to stay this way?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“I’m afraid there is no way to change you back. The accident that did this to you wasn’t as serious as it seemed. Under normal circumstances, I have no doubt that you would have been able to fix it; these weren’t normal circumstances. I know it will be difficult at first, but you will adjust.”

Severus turned to Lily. “Could you accept me like this?”

Lily gripped his hand tighter. “Of course, Severus. I care about you – I always have. This doesn’t change that.”

Severus smiled. “I’m guessing we can’t tell anyone?” he said, turning to Dumbledore.

“No, that wouldn’t be wise.”

He and Lily nodded. “So, what now?” Severus wondered.

“There are things we must talk about. We are facing dark times and we need people like you two on our side – but, that can wait for now. Until then, I just want you to live and be happy.”

–

Severus and Lily walked hand in hand down the corridor. They spotted James walking in the opposite direction with several girls in toe.

“Do you think James will be okay?” Lily asked Severus.

“Dumbledore says he will – I just hope he realizes sooner rather than later what a good man he really is.”

Lily smiled at him. “I’m glad I still have you.” she said, stopping to wrap her arms around his neck.

Severus held her, a smile on his face. “Lily Evans,” he said, his nose to hers. “I love you.”

Her wide smile reached her eyes. “And I love you,” she said, leaning in and kissing him.

Severus had a hard time finding the common room and was now growing to suspect James had given him misleading directions… At least the password was right, he thought bitterly to himself as he walked into the common room – and barely a minute before curfew. He looked around the room, surprised with how comfortable it seemed. Judging by James and his cronies, he half expected something akin to a torture chamber.

“Oi,” he heard, “over here.”

Turning, he saw Sirius and Remus heading towards him. For a moment, he felt a little panicked, forgetting whose face he wore.

“Cutting it a little close, aren’t we?” Sirius laughed. Severus half-smiled, wary. “So how’d it go?” Sirius whispered.

“What?” Severus asked.

“You know, with Snivellus. Did you do it?”

“Oh, right,” he murmured. “I – no.”

“Really?” Remus seemed thoroughly shocked.

“Yeah….”

“Well, good for you!” Sirius smiled, giving him a quick one-armed squeeze.

“Really?” Severus asked, surprised.

“Yeah!” He replied. “Like I said, we should leave the kid be. He’s not that much fun, anyway.”

That’s certainly unexpected, he thought. He had been certain that they all enjoyed torturing him. “Oh, yeah,” he muttered, catching a glimpse of brilliant red hair out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head he saw Lily, headed for the girls’ dorms. “Uh, I’ll talk to you guys later,” he said, pulling himself away and walking towards Lily. Sirius and Remus just shook their heads.

“Lily, Lily!” Severus called. She turned to him, her face growing dark.

“What do you want?” The girl spat.

Severus stopped, shocked for a moment. You’re James, you idiot, he reminded himself. He was just so happy to see her, he had completely forgotten…

“Well?” Lily wondered, obviously irritated.

Should he tell her? He couldn’t stand to have her so angry with him. Don’t be stupid, she’d never believe you.

“No, James, I will not go out with you. Ever. Get over it and just leave me alone.” She said, turning to leave.

“I just wanted to apologize,” he said hurriedly. She stopped and turned to look at him, puzzled. Certainly James Potter had never apologized to anyone for anything. “For earlier. I was a jerk,” he continued, solemnly. “I just wanted to tell you.” She eyed him, unsure. “I- I’m going to go,” he stuttered, turning and leaving.

He sat himself on one of the couches. You idiot, he chided himself, Apologizing as James, what were you thinking? He sighed, placing his head in his hands.

“Struck out again, eh?” Severus looked up as two forms sat on either side of him.

“You could say that.”

“I’m telling you, mate, you’ve gotta let it go.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” Severus asked, looking from Sirius to Remus.

“Accept that it’s never going to happen.” Sirius stated, lying back and putting his hands behind his head. “You’ll find another. Why get caught up on this one?”

“Because she’s the one,” he murmured, mostly to himself.

Sirius and Remus eyed each other for a moment.

“Really? How do you know?” Remus asked.

“I just do.” They had said to accept that it wouldn’t happen, and despite how much it hurt him, he knew it was true. He’d have to let her go.

–

James had been sitting in the Slytherin common room for all of ten minutes, and already he despised it. The colors were one thing, he could handle how drab they were. It was everyone else he couldn’t stand. He watched as they interacted with one another, heads held up high, eyes cold and calculating, smiles deceiving. They thought they were so much better than everyone else and he hated it.

Worst of all, no one seemed to pay any attention to him. It was like he was invisible. Not you, Severus, he had to remind himself, though it wasn’t very comforting. As far as everyone else is concerned, you are Severus. He sighed. If things had worked out the way they should have, he would be back in the Gryffindor common room having a good laugh with Padfoot and Moony… not here, waiting for Snivellus to fix this mess.

Well, at least the women here are attractive, he thought, grinning. He stood, making his way towards one of the stunning brunettes he had noticed earlier – then he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror. Long, scraggly black hair, a large hooked nose, a weak jaw and sunken cheeks. How am I supposed to get laid looking like this? He groaned.

“Well, if it isn’t my dear friend Severus,” he heard from beside him. Turning, he was surprised at the sudden company. “Lucius,” James remarked.

“The one and only,” Lucius grinned. James didn’t like him already.

“What do you want?” He asked with a tinge of malice in his voice.

Lucius raised his hands in response. “What kind of way is that to greet a friend?” The grin never leaving his face.

“I wasn’t aware we were friends.” He had always thought Severus had no friends besides Lily.

“Of course we are.” Lucius smiled. “We are Slytherins, are we not?” The boy put an arm around James. “We stick together.” James didn’t know what to say. “Now tell me, what are you up to?” he asked, looking around. Spotting the brunette he had been headed for, Lucius chuckled. “Ah, I see. Looking for some action are you?”

James glared at him. It was certainly none of his business.

“Oh, right… Lily.” Lucius sighed. “I don’t see why you keep wasting your time on her.”

James couldn’t help but scoff. “What does Lily have to do with the brunette?” He asked, a grin on his face. He, for one, was tired of her games. She’d come around eventually, but for now….

Lucius smiled, then laughed. “That’s the spirit! Now come, let me introduce you.”

“Romana.” Lucius called, dragging him along.

She turned to face them, a brilliant smile growing on her face when she spotted them. “Oh, Lucius!” She said gleefully. “I was beginning to wonder when you’d come around.” A grin growing on her face.

“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy.” Lucius replied. Lied is more like it, James thought. He was starting to like this guy more and more. “I wanted to introduce you ladies to a good friend of mine.”

They looked at him, obviously not too impressed. “Good friend, you say?” Romana asked.

“The best.” Lucius assured. “He’ll be seventeen soon… and, well, you know….”

What does that mean? James wondered, though, the girls seemed impressed.

“Oh, is that right?” One of the girls asked, smiling.

Romana shot her a dark look, throwing a wink at James. “It’s a wonder I haven’t seen you around before.” The girl smiled, running a finger through his long hair.

“Oh you know how the Snape’s are – all so quiet and reserved. They’re rather picky by nature – have to look out for that family fortune, you know,” he said.

Romana grinned. “Oh, I see.” she said, pushing herself closer to him. “Don’t worry cutie, you can trust little ol’ me.”

“I’ll be leaving you two then.” Lucius said, grabbing one of the other girls by the hand. “And I will see you tomorrow night, Severus,” he added.

“Tomorrow night?” James asked.

Lucius leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Edge of the Forbidden Forest. Ten o’clock. You owe me. Be there.”

James nodded as Romana pulled him away.

–

Severus sat at the Gryffindor table, surprised with how comfortable he felt amongst its company. He took a bite of his meal, watching the students around him interact with what seemed to be genuine interest in one another. It was a far cry from what he tended to experience at his own table. There, the conversations were fake, each word uttered with double meaning and laced in deceptive overtones. He glanced at the Slytherin table. He didn’t miss it at all.

“James, we’re going to head out,” Sirius said, pulling him from his thoughts. “Are you coming?”

Sirius and Remus were each half standing, waiting for him to follow. “No, actually, I have some work to do.” He replied, gulping down his last bite.

“Work? On a day like this?” Sirius touched the back of his hand to Severus’ head. “Are you sick, mate?”

Severus smiled, shaking his head. “No, really, I’m just a little behind. I promise I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Okay, mate.”

Remus shrugged. “Don’t spend all day ‘studying’.” He motioned in the air with his fingers. Sirius laughed in response.

Severus winked at him, figuring that was the proper response. The two laughed, getting up to leave. When they were gone, Severus stood, intending to head for the potions room before the next class began.

Walking down the corridor, he found himself in an almost happy mood. He didn’t know why, but he felt much more comfortable in this body than he ever had in his own. Well, technically, this was his body, it just looked different, but even so, he preferred it. It wasn’t just his looks, it was everything and everyone around him. It was the people and the atmosphere. He briefly wondered if James knew how lucky he was to live this life… and what he’d do when it came time to give it up.

–

James pulled his cloak tight around him as he walked through the frigid night air. It was nearly ten and as usual, he was a bit late. It had been difficult to pull himself from the warmth of Romana’s bed, but he had promised Lucius he’d come. He laughed, as if a promise could actually bring him out here in the dead of night. No, he was here because he was curious. It was nearly after curfew and yet a group of Slytherns were determined to meet. Why? For what reason? James had to know. If nothing else, maybe he’d get enough to get them all in trouble when he regained his body.

“Hey,” he heard a voice say. To his left, he saw Lucius walk out from the shadows of a tree. “It’s about time. I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come.”

“I did promise.” James said with a grin.

Lucius grinned in turn. “Come along, the meeting is about to start.”

“Meeting?” James wondered.

Lucius laughed. “Yes, the ones you’ve been avoiding for months, now quiet down.”

James said nothing, silently resenting his being told to be quiet. No one told him what to do, but he was curious and thought it best to just follow along, at least for now.

They walked for several minutes, going deeper into the Forbidden Forest. The trees grew thicker and thicker as the light became dimmer. Finally, a dim source of light could be seen up ahead. It was far enough away still that he couldn’t quite make anything out, though he did spot several figures. Lucius pulled up his hood, signaling for James to do the same.

When they reached the group, James counted ten other students in attendance. They too had their hoods up, leaving only their mouths and chins to be seen.

Lucius walked towards the center of the group, lifting his hands to silence the quiet murmurs around them.

“I’m sure you all know why we’re here.” Lucius began. The others murmured their acknowledgment. “Many of us are on the verge of coming to an age where we too will join our older and kindred spirits in the fight for our survival.” The crowd seemed delighted by his words. James didn’t understand.

“Fight for our survival?” James asked. “What are you talking about?”

“What are we talking about?!” One of the figures blurted out. “Are you mad? Have you been living under a rock?!” Her voice screeched.

Lucius stepped forward. “Come now, Bella, dear,” he appealed, “don’t be so condescending. We’re all family here. It is our job to enlighten.” The woman crossed her arms but conceded.

“It’s quite simple,” Lucius began once more, “we are wizards and witches; the most powerful beings on this planet. And yet, we hide ourselves – who we are – from muggles.”

“We have to,” James interrupted. “They can’t understand our ability, the would overreact in fear.”

“Precisely.” Lucius continued. “We have been hiding ourselves from them since the late 1400′s. But why? Why should we be forced to hide like vermin? To quell their fragile minds?” Lucius shook his head. “No. We have hidden for too long. We are more powerful. We should live freely and openly on this planet. It should be them, hiding from us.”

James understood his logic; they were more powerful, it was only right they not have to hide themselves. “But what does that have to do with our survival? Muggles pose no threat to us.”

“True. But what of the ones who infiltrate our society?” Lucius asked.

“Infiltrate? How? Not possible.” He must have been mad. A muggle, infiltrate the wizarding world?

“Not possible?” The hooded figures laughed as Lucius shook his head. “But they already have. They live in our homes, walk our streets, attend our schools.”

“Hogwarts?”

“Oh yes. We have plenty of those filthy mudbloods here.”

“Oh.” James had heard such terms, though he himself had never paid much attention to it.

“Yes, oh.” The woman jumped in. “This is the problem. Our kind thinks nothing of copulating with those filthy, small-minded creatures. And for what? Their children have less of a chance of being magical.” She sighed. “Squibs.” She said with a mix of disgust and pity. “Who could deny their offspring their rightful heritage? It’s barbaric and disgusting!”

“Generation after generation,” Lucius cut in, “eventually there won’t be any of us left. They are bringing us to extinction!”

James had never thought of it that way. It did seem like a terrible price to pay.

“We cannot stand for it any longer,” Lucius added, turning to the group. “We have to protect the future of our kind.”

“What are we supposed to do?” James asked.

Lucius turned back to him, a grin on his face. “We are here, that is the first step. We must continue to recruit more of our kind. When we do, and when we come of age, then we can join the movement that has already begun.”

“What movement?”

“We cannot say much of it, but many of the more enlightened adults have joined together, to find a way to rid ourselves of the scum that infiltrates our society. Only when that is done can we bring ourselves into the light of the world.”

“Why must we be seventeen?” James asked, “are we not strong enough as we are?”

“Of course we are. But as minors, we can be tracked by the ministry.”

“Surely they understand our cause.”

Lucius laughed. “Of course they don’t. They are corrupt – a corruption brought to us by the single-minded mentality of the muggle-bred, bringing their tainted thinking to our government. Their main interest is money and power. The filth help give them both, why would they go against that?”

James nodded, understanding the predicament.

“Right.” Lucius concluded, turning to the crowd. “It is getting late. Remember what I said, keep your eyes open and we’ll meet back here in a few weeks.”

The group cleared out little by little, assumingly to avoid suspicion. James sat as he waited for their turn to leave, thinking about all that had been said. It was a troubling notion, and it made so much sense. He felt like he were finally understanding himself for the first time. Perhaps he had misjudged Severus.

“I’m glad you made it this time.” Lucius said, sitting himself on the log beside James. “I was beginning to think you’d never come around.”

“I really haven’t come to any of them?” He asked without thinking.

Lucius laughed. “Well, okay, I guess you did come to the first, but after that….” He trailed off.

“Right.” James said, relieved his question hadn’t become awkward. “Look, about recruitment….”

“Oh, have someone in mind?” Lucius asked eagerly.

“Yes.” James said. “What about James Potter?” He wouldn’t be in this body long, and well, he didn’t want to loose this – it all felt too right.

“Potter?” Lucius asked, surprised. “No, no,” he laughed.

“Why not? He’s a Pureblood, you know, and I really think he’d…”

“No.” Lucius interrupted. “The Potters are nobodys and they’re sympathizers. Isn’t his aunt married to a muggle?”

“Well, yes… but James is different….” he pressed.

“No. He’s not right for us. You know how Gryffindor’s are. They’ll go all noble on you before long.”

“But this is noble.” James protested.

“It is – but not to them. That’s final, Severus.”

James sighed. “So why me?” He wondered, “I’m a half-blood, you know.”

Lucius shushed him. “Yes, it’s a terrible thing for your Mother to have done to you,” he sighed. “Look, you’re practically family, Severus, you understand our values. You understand how terrible they are to our society, how fearful they can be – with your Father…” Lucius trailed off. “That’s all that matters, Severus. Come on, let’s get going – we don’t want to be too late.”

Summary: Severus always knew something was desperately wrong with his life. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t be the person he was expected to be. Then there was James, who made his life even worse with his relentless abuse. The only thing they had in common was their unabashed hatred for one another. So what happens when an accident leaves them trapped as the one person they never wanted to be?

Severus sat himself under a tree, doing his best to shrink into it by hunching himself over his book and hoping his long hair would provide adequate enough protection from prying eyes. Today was too nice of a day to be hiding out indoors, so he had opted to come out, despite the risk. He focused on his book, Moste Potente Potions. He loved this book. His mother had given it to him as a birthday present when he had begun taking “Advanced Potions.” He cherished it. He had never attempted any of the potions within it as of yet, but it was still worth the read. Hopefully next term he could talk professor Slughorn into letting him try a few of them – with supervision, of course.

“Well if it isn’t Snivellus.”

Startled, he stood, quickly shoving the book from his lap and into his bag in the process. “What do you want, Potter?” He muttered, holding his bag tightly to him.

“What do you want, Potter?” he mocked, laughing. “What have you got there?” he asked, motioning to Severus’ bag.

“N- nothing. Just some books.” He said, trying to nonchalantly push the bag behind him and out of view, but James had already grabbed it.

“What’s this?” he asked, taking out his book. “Moste Potente Potions, eh?” he said, fumbling through it. “Nice, Slughorn let you borrow it?” He grinned.

“No, It’s mine. Give it to me.” Severus reached for it, but one of his lackeys restrained him.

“Must be important to him.” The aristocratic-looking one holding him observed.

James smiled. “Is Sirius right, Snivellus? Is it important to you?” Severus said nothing. “Come now, you can tell us.” Still nothing.

“I think he’s scared of you, James.” the smaller one said.

“Of course he is, Remus.” James laughed. He smiled, staring at Severus with a gleam in his eye.

Severus shut his eyes and turned away. Certain James would throw the book at him. But he didn’t. Instead he heard a sickening rip. “No!” he yelled, opening his eyes to the sight of several ripped-out pages lying on the floor. James laughed.

“Aw, James, that’s not cool.” Sirius shook his head, letting go of Severus, who hurried to pick up the pages before they were taken by the wind.

“Yeah, mate.” Remus shook his head.

James shrugged. “Whatever.” he said, throwing the book into the lake. “It’s just a book. Such whiners.” he laughed .

“What are you guys doing?!” came an angry voice.

Severus looked up. It was Lily. He sighed, finding it all so pathetic.

“Why are you guys picking on him?” She glared at Sirius and Remus, “You guys too?”

Both of the boys shrugged, “It wasn’t our idea.”

Severus stood up. “Where are you going?” Lily asked, concerned in her eyes.

“To get my book.” he said, pointing to the lake.

“No.” Lily replied, placing a hand on his shoulder. Lily turned to James, “You go get his book.”

“Right!” James laughed. “Oi, Peter.” he called.

“Yes?” Peter said quietly. Severus hadn’t even noticed he was there.

“Go get Sniv-er-Severus’ book.” he ordered.

Peter seemed all too pleased to oblige.

“So, Lily,” James said, running a hand through his hair, “what do you think about you coming with me to the Yule Ball next month?” he said, grinning.

“You have got to be kidding me.” she said in disbelief.

“I know, out of all the beautiful women at this school, I choose -”

“You’re such an idiot.” She said with annoyance, a small laugh accompanying the shake of her head. “The answer is no.”

“Oh come on, baby,” he said, reaching an arm around her. Severus felt sick to his stomach. “You and I were made for each other.”

“Not in a million years,” Lily said, removing his arm. She turned to Severus. “Come on, let’s go.”

Severus quietly obeyed as the water-soaked Peter handed him his book. He took it gladly.

–

Severus sat alone in the Slytherin common room, feeling pathetic. It had taken him nearly an hour to get his book dry without damaging the text. He sighed. How Severus hated being the constant object of their ridicule, but it didn’t seem like there was anything he could do about it. Lily was always telling him that it would get better, that someday, it wouldn’t be a big deal. He was certain it was true. One day he’d look back on all this and laugh, but he was also certain that that day was a long ways away.

Well, not necessarily, he thought to himself, though it wasn’t comforting. He’d be seventeen soon and in this family, that had its own implications. Severus sighed once more. James and the others didn’t know how good they had it. They were popular, good-looking, and had decent families who’d let them make their own decisions. Well, most of them. But Sirius still had everything else.

What did he have? No family but a Father he hated, and a Mother that got beaten every day. Then he had a house full of snobs, who wanted nothing more than to get rid of everyone and everything that was different – trying to pull him along in the process, and no love life to speak of. He laughed; no form of happiness of any kind. Well, that wasn’t true. He still had Lily, his first friend. Even so, they were just friends and he knew that’s all they’d ever be. His life was a mess – a nightmare even – made worse by Potter and his lackeys. All he wanted was to get away; to escape the cruel hand that he had been dealt. He might have done it, too – gone away – if he had had someone to go with. No, he was permanently trapped here – in this wretched house, in this small unappealing body, surrounded by these terrible people, with only one good thing in his life. If only there were such things as miracles…

“Severus,” came the mock gleeful greeting.

“Lucius,” he started, clearly communicating his disdain.

“Ouch,” he said, putting his hand to his chest. “Can’t you at least pretend to be happy to see me?”

Severus gave him a cold glare. “I’m busy.”

“Is that right?” he said, peering at the open book before him. “Learning to prepare potions whilst reading upside down?” he mused.

Severus shut the book. “What is it, Lucius?”

“Oh good, you have time.” He replied, sitting next to him. “Well, you see, while I was taking my bath yesterday, I started thinking. I said ‘Now Lucius, who is it that you haven’t seen much of recently?’ Well, I thought about it long and hard, with the help of a certain Miss Gimble, mind you-” he grinned.

“Could you get to the point?”

“Oh, we did,” he laughed. Severus glared at him. “Right.” He cleared his throat. “Look, we’re having another meeting soon. You should come.”

“Lucius,” Severus started, “we’ve already talked about this.”

“Severus. Look. You’re a very talented wizard; we could use someone like you on our side.” Severus began to protest. Lucius raised a hand to stop him, standing to his feet. “It’s us or them, Severus. I suggest you choose wisely.” He left without further comment.

Severus sighed, looking back at his pile of books. At least there’s Potions, he thought. It was the only thing that worked the way it was supposed to. It had a sense of order, of right and wrong. Ingredients had specific, definable characteristics and reacted in certain ways with other ingredients. That was it. Once you understood that and the effect temperature and technique on what you brewed; that was all there was to know. It just made sense.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that was all he’d ever really have that would have been his choice and he should accept it. Solemnly, he grabbed a book as he sat himself back down on the couch. Moste Potente Potions. He paused, an idea coming to him. Maybe Potions was all he needed. Quickly, he stood and gathered his things, running out of the door and towards the Potions classroom.

–

“Do you really think this is such a good idea, James?” Sirius asked him as they hid behind a staircase.

“Of course it is,” he remarked, “it’s mine, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” Remus chimed in, “we could get in a lot of trouble for this.”

James couldn’t believe his ears. “Since when do you guys care if we get in trouble?” he asked, shocked. “Padfoot? Moony?”

“It’s just -” Remus started. “It’s pretty mean.”

“Yeah, James.” Sirius added, “He doesn’t even fight back – it’s just not that fun anymore. What’s the use of messing with a guy who’s not willing to play the game?”

“Maybe it’s about Lily.” Peter remarked.

“Shut up!” James scowled.

“Whoa, mate,” Sirius laughed, “I can’t believe it, that’s why we keep messing with him, because you’re jealous?!”

“You know she’s not into him, right?” Remus pointed out.

James rolled his eyes. Of course he knew that, but that wasn’t the point. “It’s his fault she won’t go out with me.”

“No, mate that would be you. You’re the one who started teasing him.” Sirius interrupted.

“How was I supposed to know they were friends?” James defended, “and now, that greasy-git – I don’t even know what she sees in him. He’s so damn pathetic! She sticks by him when she could have me! Me!”

Remus laughed. “And I thought Padfoot loved himself too much. You’ve gone off the deep end!”

“Oh shut it,” James said. “If you’re not going to help, then just leave.”

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, then Remus spoke. “Okay, mate, but I’ve got to tell you, you need to lay off before something bad happens.” Sirius and Remus stood, each grabbing Peter by an arm, “Come on kid, you’re coming with us, too.”

“But I want to help.” Peter cried.

“Nope, James has to do this one on his own.”

Cowards, James thought to himself as he stood from behind the staircase. It was getting late, but as usual, he figured Severus would be found in the Potions classroom. Bloke, he thought, always seemed to do whatever he could to stay ahead of him in the class.

Cautiously he made his way, careful not to be spotted by anyone. He had no intention of getting in trouble. Luckily, he wasn’t too far and when he arrived, he found the door ajar. Peering in, he spotted Severus, his back to James – no doubt bent over a cauldron.

“Okay, where did I put that paper?” James mumbled as he fished in his pockets. A moment later, he pulled out the small piece of parchment he had written the spell on. Steadying his arm, he pointed his wand at Severus’ back.

–

Severus was captivated by the potion he was brewing. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before, he laughed to himself. If it worked right, it could solve a few of his problems. If it worked at all, it would change his body – he would grow, in height, in potential muscle mass. He’d even grow more confident. Severus didn’t have to be a scraggly, miserable nobody anymore. If he worked at it long enough, he might even figure out how to get rid of this god-awful nose and shallow cheeks. Anything that reminded him of… his Father. Sure, it wouldn’t get him away from people like Lucius or make James and his gang leave him alone, but it would give him a chance at being happy. And maybe, Lily… Maybe he, they, could get away from here. It still wasn’t ready yet, but it was close. He dropped in another ingredient and began stirring.

The room had been deftly quiet all evening; so when he heard footsteps, he instinctively turned around.

“Potter?” he asked, raising his hands up in caution, stirring rod in hand.

“Time for payback.” James smiled.

Severus didn’t hear the words he uttered, but he did feel the jolt of pain that shot through him. He fell to his knees and doubled over in agony, his stomach churning terribly as he gripped his sides. He could feel his insides moving within him. All his muscles began to ache, pulling and distending. He cried out in pain as he heard what sounded like a crack of bone. He knew it had been his face. Again he heard the sickening sound, this time it was the joints of his legs and arms. What was going on?

He heard a cry from beside him. Glancing up he saw James on the floor, seemingly in as much pain as he. Apparently his spell had backfired. Serves him right, Severus thought briefly before crying out in pain again. Something snapped in his mind. He wasn’t certain how, but he suddenly felt… different.

James looked up at him, horror on his face. Can’t take it, can you, coward? He thought bitterly. Then he watched, horrified, as James’ face began to move, rearranging itself. His cheeks became shallow, his chin narrowed, his nose elongated and his hair… it grew longer and turned black. He was staring at… himself.

James’ eyes grew wide in shock, his mouth ajar. Severus imagined the same look on his own face. What? How? was all he could think. For a long while, they said nothing, staring at each other as the pain subsided. Cautiously, they stood, circling one another.

“What did you do?” Severus demanded, horrified by the sound of his own voice, which wasn’t his. He turned, rushing to the nearest mirror. “Oh, no,” Severus exclaimed, “no, no, no.” His reflection wasn’t his either – it belonged to James.

“Ugh!” James yelled, throwing the mirror he had been looking at. “I can’t believe this!”

Severus turned to him, “What. Did. You. Do?!” He sneered at James.

“No!” James exclaimed, “I didn’t do this. This isn’t what was supposed to happen!”

“Oh, no?” Severus asked, “I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell didn’t take a Polyjuice Potion, did you?” James shook his head. “It was rhetorical, moron!” Severus growled, “you’re the one who pointed your wand at me, what did you do?!”

James snarled. This was an odd thing for Severus to witness from his own body. “It was supposed to switch you with a rat or a ferret or something.”

“Or something?” Severus couldn’t believe it. “You don’t even know what it was supposed to do?!”

“How do you know it was me?” James turned, “what were you making there? This could be your fault!”

“That is none of your business, Potter.. Besides, it couldn’t possibly have…” Severus paused, his eyes growing wide.

“What?” James asked. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

Severus sat in one of the chairs, hanging his head in his hands. “It might have been both of us.” he said, solemnly.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

“Your spell and my potion. I was holding the stirring rod when you attacked me.”

“I didn’t attack you.”

Severus glared at him. “Yeah, right.” He waved him off. “That hardly matters now.”

James leaned his head back against the wall. “I can’t believe this.” he said.

Severus rolled his eyes. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Excuse me?” James turned to him.

“You heard me! I’m so tired of all your crap. All you do is make my life one long nightmare, then you do this,” he hung his head. “I’m tired of it.”

“You had it coming to you.” James sneered.

“For what?” Severus turned, angry. “I’ve never done anything to you!”

“You’re here and you’re a nuisance, that’s reason enough.” James spat. “Now you need to figure out how to fix this.”

“Me? Why me? It was your spell!”

James glared at him.

Severus sighed, rubbing at his temples, “Maybe we should talk to the Headmaster, I’m sure he can help us.”

“Are you mad?” James exclaimed, “do you know the trouble we could get in?”

“You mean, you. I did nothing wrong. Besides, I don’t think I can fix this.”

“Well you need to try.” James urged.

“Why should I?” Severus asked. James was mad if he thought Severus would save his ass for him.

“Simple,” he said, a calculating smile on his face. “You could spend some time as me. I’m sure you’ve always wanted to be popular… and handsome,” he smirked. “Now you can. If we go and tell the Headmaster, you can be sure the whole school will know and you’d just be an outcast again until they fix it. And then… well, then you’d just be you.”

Severus said nothing. Of course, he was intrigued by the idea, but it just didn’t seem right.

“Come on,” James pleaded, “give it a few weeks, if you can’t fix it by then, we’ll go to the Headmaster. How does that sound?”

Severus hesitated. It seemed odd, but why shouldn’t he agree? He could have some fun as James for a while. He deserved it. “Okay, agreed.”

“Great!” James said, looking at the time. “We’re going to miss curfew if we don’t head back.”

Severus cleaned up his things before they headed out the door. “Three weeks. That’s it,” he reminded James.

“Yeah, no problem,” Severus said. “Oh, wait. Give me your tie.”

“By the way, what the hell has gotten into you?” James asked, giving Severus an odd look.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never talked to me like that before,” he said, his eyes shining something akin to half-pride, half anger. He didn’t like it.

“Well, you’ve never done this before,” Severus replied.

“I guess,” James said.

“Passwords?” Severus reminded.

“Right…”

The sun shone bright in the afternoon sky, echoing the mood of the students in the courtyard. Siv watched from a distance, under the shade of a tree, as the students enjoyed their afternoon break. He watched solemnly as many gathered in groups with their friends, talking excitedly over their lunches, and leaving him feeling disconnected. Several of his friends had stopped by to congratulate him and wish him luck on his journey, but none had been able to stay long, all very busy with their own studies. In all honestly, that wasn’t what had bothered him for he enjoyed his solitude. No, what bothered him was the knowledge that he was no longer one of them.

Maybe I should have eaten with the other masters. He laughed quietly to himself. Masters. He just couldn’t get used to that title. Still he watched the other students, feeling out of place. He didn’t belong with them, nor did he feel he belonged with the Kiegen. He was stuck between two worlds and it only made him feel even more disconnected. He sighed. It would definitely take time to get used to it all.

He leaned his head back against the truck of the tree. Time. It was something he didn’t have much of… another day or two at most before he would leave to begin his own journey. From that moment on he would devote himself to his studies and to his people.

It was a traditional journey that would take him further than the eye could see – to the remote ends of the planet and back again. He had to admit, he was excited. Despite everything they had learned throughout the centuries, there was still much that was left to be uncovered and learned. His experiences since the ceremony had proven that much.

He had always had a thirst for knowledge, it was a common trait amongst his people. He was lucky in that he would be able to satisfy that thirst in ways many could only dream of. Long ago he had realized this, and since then, he had been determined to share that knowledge when he could. He had promised himself he would return, and when he did, that was precisely what he meant to do.

In the meantime, he’d miss it here, the place that had been his home since he was five. He closed his eyes, focusing instead on the comforting sounds of the courtyard. He could hear the students’ chatter, the wind through the air and branches of the trees – rustling of leaves.

“Siv?”

He opened his eyes and sat up, nearly hitting his head with hers as he came face to face with a pair of bright purple eyes. “Ziva.” He smiled.

“Oh good,” she said, putting her hands to her knees and hanging her head in relief, “I thought you were dead.”

“What?” he laughed, she always did have an unusual sense of humor. “No, no, just resting.”

The young girl sat next to him, touching the amulet around her neck as she regarded him with a puzzled look on her face.

“What is it?” he asked, knowing she had something on her mind – as usual.

“I don’t see it.” she said, moving her face around his, as if she were looking for something on it.

“See what?”

“They said you would be different now, that after the ceremony you wouldn’t be the same.”

“Who said that?” he asked.

“Miero.” she admitted, looking sheepish. Miero tended to tell her wild stories from time to time – all of which had ended up untrue. Siv smiled, shaking his head. She knew what he was going to say. “But it happened to Rina, didn’t it?” she defended.

It was true, Rina had changed after the ceremony. Those who had known her well enough had seen it. He had seen it. She had become distant and paranoid, murmuring of conspiracy and treachery. The masters had tried to help her, but she had refused, leaving. And when she left, she never came back. “I haven’t changed.” he said. “Don’t let Miero scare you.”

The girl nodded. “Ok, I just had to make sure.”

Siv nodded, “Hungry?” he asked, offering her some grapes. She took them, her face turned thoughtful as she ate one. Siv laughed, “What is it now?” he asked, tiredly, but playful.

“So what were you doing?” she asked, popping a grape into her mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if you weren’t dying, or changing… what were you doing?”

“I was just thinking.” he said, taking a grape for himself. She raised a brow at him in disapproval. “About leaving. Jeez, you’re relentless.” he teased. The girl beamed a proud smile at him.

“I thought so. You looked upset, which I guess is why I thought you might be dying – you never looked so sad.”

Siv didn’t know what to say, not really thinking his sadness had been so intense.

“I guess most people might not see it – except for maybe Master Viliou – but I do, Siv. You’ve been so sad lately.”

It sometimes surprised him how sensitive she could be to those around her. She had a knack for seeing what most couldn’t. “I suppose so.”

She watched him thoughtfully for a moment. He could see her scheming. “I know what will cheer you up!” she said excitedly, pulling a thermos from her bag. He watched, puzzled, as she unscrewed the top and set it down in front of her. “Watch.” Her face grew serious as she concentrated on the object, setting her palm several inches above it.

Carefully she lifted her hand, drawing out a portion of water with it. Siv smiled as it hovered in front of them. “Shh.” She muttered as she brought her other hand next to the first. Slowly she began to move them apart, each cupped in front of her as if holding a cylinder. The mass of water followed suit, elongating until it resembled a large tentacle.

Gradually its features were defined. No, not a tentacle, he thought, more like a serpent. Though not just any serpent, it had grown a long dorsal fin down the length of its back: a sea serpent. “Wow.” he said, thoroughly impressed at the young sorceress’ skill. This was no easy task for a ten year old and she had done well. Ziva said nothing, having proceeded to guide the creature through the air. It swam around their heads, its mouth opening and closing randomly.

“Keep it going.” he said, having an idea of his own. Turning to Ziva’s thermos, he drew out a small portion of the water for himself, quickly forming it into several small fish. They in turn swam through the air as well, some lazily, others circling the serpent.

Ziva smiled, understanding his intent. With some effort she had the serpent turn sharply from its course, heading straight for one of the fish. It reached the first from behind, opening its mouth wide and swallowing it whole, its mass joining that of the serpent. From there Siv had the remaining fish scatter, running for their lives. Ziva was able to catch most of them easily, finally leaving one – the smallest and most fragile-looking. He and Ziva looked at each other, knowing full well what would happen next.

Suddenly she and her serpent were chasing him and his tiny fish. Quickly he was on his feet, taking his creature around the tree and into the square. Ziva followed, her serpent gaining. For a few minutes he was able to allude her, all the while gaining an audience. Every close call now followed by “Oo’s” and “Oh’s”

Siv was growing tired, she had far more energy than he did. Then the idea struck him, a grin growing mischievously on his face. He raced forward several feet in front of her, suddenly stopping and turning his fish to face her serpent not far behind. He could hear the audible gasp of several of the students who had been watching them. The serpent was just inches away when – his fish grew several inches larger until it became a miniature shark that opened its wide jaws and swallowed her serpent whole.

“Hey!” Ziva called. Siv laughed. “That’s so cheating!” she protested, despite her own laughter.

Siv took her by the shoulder, “It seems I’ve won, my friend.” he smiled, the crowd around them a mixture of laughs, shocked faces, and cheers.

“Pff.” Ziva said, a large smile on her face as they walked back to the tree with Siv’s shark in toe. “How did you do that anyway?” she asked as they settled back down on the grass – Siv siphoning clean water back into her thermos. “There was no water around.”

“There’s always water around.” He smiled, gesturing around him. She looked puzzled again. “The air.” he said, drawing a drop’s worth from around them.

Ziva’s eyes lit up. “You can do that?!”

“Certainly.” he said, releasing the excess water back into the air. “It’s just a matter of splitting and recombining molecules.”

“Do you think I could learn to do that, too?” she asked, hopeful.

“Definitely,” he assured her, “You’re already very talented.”

She beamed at him as they heard a bell ring. “Oh!” she started, standing. “I have to get to class.” Siv helped her gather her things. “I’ll have to tell Master Kie about today,” she said, “And Miero, so he knows you haven’t changed.”

Siv laughed, “make sure that you do.” he said, walking with her towards the main entrance. “It’s also time for my meditation – after all that running around, I need to relax a bit.”

Ziva laughed. “Getting old already?” she teased.

“Apparently so.”

“Ziva! Ziva!” It was Miero, who seemed to be waiting for her near the door. “Come on!” he called after her. “We’re going to be late!”

“Coming!” she smiled. “I’ll see you later, Siv.” She paused, “I mean, Master Cevoc.” she bowed before running off.

There was that title again. He sighed, heading towards the west wing’s entrance, headed for his usual meditation room. He got as close as the gardens when a familiar voice stopped him.

“We missed you at lunch; though, seeing the display you and Ziva put on, I can not say that I blame you.” Master Viliou smiled, bowing.

Siv did the same. “She started it.” he laughed.

“I do not doubt it.” he said, a smile on his face. “she has a knack for such things.”

“That she does.” he agreed, pausing, “I am sorry for not eating with you. I-”

Viliou raised his hand, shaking his head. “No need. You needed to be cheered up; I doubt we could have been as helpful.” He smiled. “You are like a brother to her, you know.”

Siv smiled. “Yes, I do, and she like a sister.” It was true that he was closer to Ziva than any of the other students. When she first arrived at the school, she had had a hard time making friends – quiet and homesick. One day he had come across her hiding behind a tree, crying. Come to think of it, that was the first time he had created the octopus – it had been an attempt to cheer her up. Since then, he had done his best to look after her.

When she was eight, she had had trouble sleeping – nightmares. He had tried helping her by showing her meditation techniques, but she claimed they didn’t work. Herbal teas, nothing. So instead he made her a medallion from some ore and claimed it had special powers to ward away nightmares. He was certain she knew he was lying, but she took it anyway, and now wears it around her neck – the nightmares mysteriously disappearing. He and the Kiegen had a hunch that she had been making it up all along. She had a propensity for studying behavior by doing her own social experiments, the problem was knowing when that was the case.

He laughed at the thought, it was a wonder she could still be so gullible when it came to Miero.

“Meditation?” Viliou asked.

Siv nodded, “Yes.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.” Siv smiled. “A guided meditation, at my age?” he laughed.

Viliou shrugged, “It will probably be my last chance for a while.” he replied solemnly.

True enough. Siv acknowledged.

They walked silently, each seemingly caught up in their own thoughts. Siv glanced at his former master, struck by the weight of the atmosphere around them. He was just as upset as he was. It was an odd realization. He had come to see Master Viliou as a man who was never troubled. He understood more about the world around them than any other living person and was usually able to see a situation clearly and without bias. Siv had been fortunate to have him as a master and had learned much from him. He knew Master Viliou cared for him, but even so, his leaving shouldn’t weigh so heavily upon him – especially knowing he would come back. This seemed very much unlike him. It was troubling.

Despite this feeling, Siv couldn’t help but smile when they reached the meditation room. There were so many good memories here – yet another reason he often used this room in his meditations. He watched as master Viliou knelt in the center of the room. He tended to prefer the window, but took his lead instead.

Together they began. “Iy’as A’kavii” they muttered in unison. Instantly he was hit by the now-familiar sense of clarity he had experienced since the ceremony. He could feel master Viliou’s strength, it was astounding – like nothing he had ever known before. And yet, he knew, what he could feel from the master now was only the tip of the iceberg. This is what it is to be Kiegen, he told himself, this is what it is to be a master. And he knew he didn’t deserve the title.

“But you do.” he heard.

Siv shook his head, “Perhaps one day, but not now.”

“You just do not know the extent of your own ability.” Master Viliou insisted. “Here, let me show you. Open your mind to everything around you, matter and energy. Let go of the constraints of your body.”

Siv obeyed, letting his own energy connect with that of everything around him. Suddenly he was more than the sum of his individual parts, more than the energy of the objects around him. Soon it was impossible to distinguish one from the other, the constraints of his body shifting from his skin to the walls of the room – his energy intermixed with that of everything else. He let the feeling envelop him as he was hit by a new sense of clarity. It all made so much sense now. The Kavii existed on this plane. They were everything, every one – all at once and all the time – their constraints, nonexistent. He had been taught this and had always known it to be true, but he had never truly understood it. How could he have? Without the experience, there could never have been true understanding.

All at once a new feeling swept over him, though he couldn’t place it before it was gone. In its place an image was left, one he knew well. Siv. It came as a faint whisper. Father? But again it was gone and instead he was left staring at Master Viliou who sat across from him.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“I – I don’t know.” Siv replied. “My father…”

“Your father?”

“I thought…” Siv muttered, confused as the image began to fade from his mind, being replaced by doubt. “Must have been another memory.” he muttered. “I’m sorry sir, if you don’t mind, I’d like to return to my room.”

“Certainly.” Viliou replied, standing with him.

Siv knew he was still concerned. “I’ll be fine,” he assured, “Just a little overwhelming.” He bowed before leaving.

–

Siv hadn’t slept well that night, his mind troubled by his experience. He had also had a hard time concentrating on anything else the day after, only having eaten because Ziva had grown worried and had stopped by during her break.

“What’s wrong?” she had asked.

“Nothing. Why do you ask?”

She gave him a disappointed glare. “I can feel it. You know that.”

He sighed, “Yea, I guess.” he rubbed his temples. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Because?” she pressed.

He knew there wasn’t any sense in evading the issue, she’d drag it out of him eventually. “I thought I saw – I had some sort of vision yesterday. I think I saw my father and I swore I heard him say my name.”

“You’re not sure?”

“I don’t know. It’s like a dream that begins to fade once you’ve woken.”

“Hm.” she responded. “Maybe you should try and recreate the conditions? Do it again.” she offered.

–

He had tried, but it hadn’t worked. It had only served to make him even more exhausted. And now, as he gathered his things to leave, he had a hard time registering it. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was protesting. You’re leaving, Siv. You should be more upset. But he didn’t know how to feel right now, his mind was far too jumbled and fatigued.

The halls were eerily quiet. It was early, but he thought there would be more people around. No one. He didn’t run into a single person as he made his way to the square. He was starting to get suspicious, when, rounding a corner, he was greeted by the sight of a very crowded courtyard. It seemed as if every student and master were present.

Master Viliou greeted him with a wide smile and a bow. “Master Cevoc” he said, “you did not really think you could get away unnoticed, did you?”

Siv laughed, “Apparently not.” he gestured around him, a large smile on his face.

Ziva and Miero came rushing up to him then, hugging him tightly. “We’ll miss you!” Ziva said.

Miero nodding his agreement. “Sorry, for thinking you’d change.” he said, sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, smiling and patting the boy on the shoulder, “just be good now.” Miero nodded, a smile on his face.

“Here,” Ziva interrupted, pulling out an object from her robe. “I made this for you.”

Siv took it; it was a bracelet woven from red, black, and blue thread. It made him smile. “Thank you.” he said, putting it on. He hugged her tightly, his little sister. He’d miss her most of all.

“I have one too” she said, showing him her wrist. “This way we’ll always be together.” She smiled.

He thanked her again before turning to the rest of the students and Kiegen, saying his goodbyes. As he walked from the school gates, he took one last look back, vowing to return.

–

The streets were quiet, his footsteps echoing on the stone tiles as he walked. Vendors were opening their shops and setting up their stalls. Several greeted him as he passed, congratulating him and wishing him luck. A few of the produce vendors even stopped to give him some fruit for his journey – despite his insistence that it wasn’t necessary. He planned on visiting his mother and siblings first in the next town over, a several hour walk from here. He smiled at the thought. He hadn’t told her he was coming, instead opting to surprise her. Leaving now, he knew he could make it there for dinner and that she’d be glad to see him. The last time he had been home was, what? Nearly three years now? He could hardly remember.

As he neared the city’s center, he was both pleased and saddened to see its statue. Thrivian Kalo, the first Kiegen and the one who had brought peace and enlightenment to his people. He had come here often during his studies, intrigued by what he represented.

Before him, his people were vastly divided, using sorcery to wage a seemingly endless war that had lasted for nearly a century. Appalled by the needless violence, Thrivian Kalo appealed to the Kavii, asking for a way to end the war and restore peace amongst his people. They heard him and judged him, finding him worthy of the power and knowledge they would give him. From them he learned the true nature of sorcery, the true nature of its existence and of its potential. It is said that he was able to fell whole armies in a single stroke, absorbing their capability for sorcery, leaving them defenseless and powerless. He was then able to negotiate the peace that has lasted for centuries.

He was the first Kiegen. As such, he was able to teach much of what he had learned to other students. Before then, sorcery had been a mysterious and seemingly random occurrence in children. When one was found who was capable of it, he or she was taken from their homes and raised by the military – a tool to be used in their wars. After the war, Master Kalo opened a school for those who wished to come. And many did. There he taught them much of what was taught today. He taught them the true reason for sorcery. He taught them its potential. Most importantly, he taught them the responsibility that came with it.

When they learned all they could from him, and if the student wished, they were given the opportunity to appeal to the Kavii as well. And, if accepted, they too would become Kiegen. Their goal, as that of all Kiegen, was to seek knowledge, to spread knowledge, and to uphold the peace that Master Kalo had achieved.

Seeing that statue always reminded him of his people’s past, of why he himself had come this far. He smiled to himself, taking a look around him as he walked. This was the very place Master Kalo himself had begun teaching. This is where it had all begun.

He stopped in his tracks, an alarming sensation suddenly overwhelming him. He could feel heart began to quicken, sensing a presence he couldn’t quite place. It was strong – powerful even – and somehow familiar. He dropped to his knees as a burning pain shot through him. Suddenly he heard the unmistakable sound of screams, muffled through the pain. He could hear muffled sounds in the distance, to his left and right – behind him. He knew the people around him were in a panic, though he couldn’t open his eyes or get up, the pain too overwhelming.

“Siv.” he heard – barely a whisper within his mind.

He had to get up. He had to help, but he couldn’t move – he was paralyzed, his senses overloaded by an intense, white light.

“Siv,” he heard again, this time, the voice, recognizable. “now is not your time.”

“Father.” he murmured as his vision faded.